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Some Gifts Were Meant to Be Thrown Away
When the holidays come around, it’s always great to spend time with your loved ones. I understand that dreadful feeling that you get in your stomach when having to buy gifts for everyone, but sometimes people are too frugal or cheap in their spending.
Here are 40 gift ideas that are considered too frugal to ever give to anyone. Take note that all gifts are under $10 at the time of writing, but prices may have changed.
1. Buy One-Get-One-Free Coupons
You’re giving me a gift that I actually have to spend money to use?
2. A Used Stuff Animal of a Dog When You Ask For a Real One
It’s probably the best substitute for those parents who don’t want to actually have to deal with a real dog around the house, all while telling your kids you got them what they asked for.
3. A $1 Bill and a Condom
I’m not really sure if this is either my gift or an offer.
4. A Used Book That Looks New
Amazon.com has used books that are in excellent condition but look almost completely new. The person accepting your gift will appreciate how much you spent on a gift until he/she notices small pencil marks on the inside pages from the last reader.
5. Finger Sporks
Awesome. Now I can save energy when eating a meal. I don’t have to use my entire hand and can now use one finger with one of these finger sporks.
6. Dug-Up Flowers From Outside
Gather your scissors and go find a flowerbed near your home. Make sure to clean the flowers after you dig them up, chop the stems so that they look real nice and finally put them together in a nice plastic cup with stars on the outside. When the next-door neighbor comes looking for you the next day, it’s a great opportunity to blame your dog.
7. Happy Meal Toys
We both know that you wouldn’t have given me this gift if you lost some weight and stopped going to McDonald’s every day.
8. Bacon Bandages
Bacon bandages are a great way to show your love for pork at only a couple of dollars. At least I’m safe from all dangers now.
9. Jumbo Pencils
Sometimes I wonder if the person who is giving me those extra big pencils wants me to use them for writing or stabbing him/her in the eye for being so cheap. How do you even expect me to write with them when they won’t fit in my pencil sharpener?
10. A Snowball
If I put this snowball in the freezer, maybe after a couple of years I’ll accumulate enough in gifts to build a snowman.
11. Play Money That Looks Real
It’s just the awkward feeling you get when you have to explain to the cashier that you didn’t notice it was fake.
12. A Gift Card From Starbucks With $.87 Left On It Because They Thought You Might Like the Picture
The cheapest beverage that I’ve every found at Starbucks is $1.00 for fountain water, and that doesn’t include taxes. At least throw in the extra $.13 cents.
13. A Penny From 1954
Stop saying it’s a rare, outdated coin that’s going to be worth 1,000 times its current value one day. It’s only around 60 years old. At least give me something that I can spend without feeling guilty.
14. A Homemade Doll of Joseph Stalin
For reasons beyond this blog, this should never be given no matter how much effort you put into it.
15. Divorce Papers
Maybe it took some of your spare time to get them printed and the ink cost a bit of change, but it’s not the best gift to open on Christmas in front of your children.
16. A Drawing From Your 3-Year Old
Let’s be realistic. A page full of circles and and scribbles from your 3-year-old that is claimed to be a representation of your family is just wasting more space in the trash can, and thus costing me money because now I need to buy new garbage bags.
17. Calling to Wish Me a Happy Birthday And Then Asking For a Loan
My brother hasn’t talked to me in almost a year. I was excited to receive his phone call on my birthday until he asked to borrow $200. I sent him $200 in monopoly money since he didn’t specify.
18. A Spiritual Awakening
I was actually impressed that you were able to wrap it. In any case, I still haven’t woken up yet.
19. A Photograph of the Two of Us
The picture frame was bought at the dollar store and the picture cost around $.15 cents to develop. Even when I’m not with you I can now remember how much I hate you for giving me this gift just by looking over at my desk.
20. A Rabbit
Rabbits can sometimes be given away from gifts who people who don’t want them. Did you ever think that maybe I’m one of those people? At least it made a great soup after I named it Frank.
21. Plastic Grocery Store Bags
They’re now charging 5 cents in the Seattle area for using a plastic bag at Safeway. Thanks, even though I never shop there.
22. Tootsie Rolls
They cost you $.01 each and they tastes horrible. Sometimes I wonder how they’re still in business.
23. A Mummy
I know that it’s just a bunch of toilet paper wrapped around my old stuffed animal.
24. USB Pet Rock
A USB pet rock doesn’t need food or water, can’t speak, drains no power from your computer and does absolutely nothing.
25. Painted Rocks
You might not be able to get away with giving this to an adult, but a maybe a child who isn’t old enough to speak for sure. That way they can’t express in words just how much they appreciate you giving them a gift that will ruin their childhood and possibly their teeth.
26. Clothes From a Thrift Store That Are Two Sizes Too Small
The clothes are nice and I would even consider wearing them if they were my size. It’s just when you mentioned that you bought them two sizes too small on purpose to help me lose weight.
27. Free Tampons Because You’ll Be Needing Them Soon
Grandma, I’m a boy.
28. A Cup of Oreos
I love Oreos and all, but you wrapped them a week ago so now they’re stale. Nice one.
29. An Old VHS Copy of Jurassic Park in Spanish
I don’t have a VCR anymore and I don’t understand Spanish. Double-win. At least it’s a movie that I enjoy watching even though I can’t watch it.
30. Homemade Anti-Rape Underwear
Nothing says I care about your safety than homemade anti-rape underwear. I just worry that the homemade version might not be well-built enough for my protection.
31. Handover Clothes Placed Inside of an Empty XBox Box
If I was a kid receiving this gift, I wouldn’t speak to my family for an entire week.
32. A Box of Used Bullets From Your Father
It’s a great gift if you’re in a hurry and need something cool to give to your kid. Just don’t ask why the bullets were used in the first place.
33. Bar of Soap
Soap is actually very easy to make and melt down into a bar. I just don’t like it when you give me more than one and suggest I have to take a shower as well.
34. A Brick
It’s actually really useful for putting in the back of your toilet and saving water. A doorstop would also work pretty well if you’re open and close the door at an extremely slow pace as to not damage it.
35. Unicorn Meat
This barely makes the list at $9. Unicorn meat is a great replacement for spam. To be honest, all that’s inside is a stuffed animal of a unicorn chopped into pieces.
36. Make Your Own (Horrible-Looking) Card
Cards are a gift from the heart, and are one of the best ways to show someone that you really care and have no money. I get the idea of making a card for someone if there is a lot of time and effort put into it (which usually costs slightly more). I just hate it when someone folds a piece of paper in two and draws a quick picture.
37. Used Tissue Paper in a Box
Trying to tear through the tissue paper to find the true gift can be one of the many joys gift-giving. It’s just unfortunate when you don’t find anything and realized that used tissues were all that you received.
38. An Autographed Photo of Yourself
It’s not so bad when the person you receive the gift from is famous, but that’s not the case. Stop trying to raise your ego even higher.
39. Free Samples Gift Set
Don’t ever tell your loved ones that you “bought” them a sample gift set that includes a chewy bar, tampons and a free bible that will never be read.
What’s even worse is saying that it took you an entire 6-8 weeks to prepare this gift, as most free samples on the web take that long to arrive.
40. Sex Mints
Sex mints are trashier than lingerie, cheaper than gum, but it still gives the same message.
To be honest, some of these gifts I’d love to get! Tell us about the worst, cheapest gift that you’ve ever received in the comments below.